DON’T DIE: If this isn’t #1 on your list, then good luck. Are partially chewed-up people knocking at your door? Don’t answer it! They are ZOMBIES and you, my friend, are walking, talking hot off the grill Prime Rib! Zombies don’t talk, reason, or have any other functions besides eating. So, STAY AWAY FROM THEIR MOUTHS!!! Even if you aren’t devoured, a bite spreads the infection and is 100% deadly. After about 24 hours, newly infected people die and rise to join the ranks of the undead.
Kill Creatively: Play "Guess Who" through a sniper scope. One might think that there are only so many ways to destroy the zombie brain. Wrong! Go into your shed, work room, or attic and find a sharp or blunt weapon. Use it to take your frustration out and split some zombie skulls! With a friend? Play a game. Try guess who, but from a distance with a large caliber rifle.
Play Time: Just because the world is ending doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. What is the point of being human if you can’t act it? Take a break from killing creatively and play a game of Monopoly. It will take your mind off the apocalypse …for awhile.
Fitness: Be a lean, mean zombie-killing machine. If you can’t beat ‘em, practice running from them. Otherwise, you will be remembered as that aerobically-challenged member of the group who sacrificed himself so the others could escape. When the apocalypse comes, cardio means everything. Weight training won’t make you look heroic as you lift a zombie over your head, only to be devoured by the throngs of frenzied zombies surrounding you.
Hygiene: You don’t want to smell worse than they do. So, who knows how long you’ll be stuck wherever you are? Prioritize the use of your water: set rations for drinking and cleaning yourself. A week or two without a shower won’t kill anyone. Also, long hair is a great way for a zombie to get a hold of you. Sounds like buzz cuts for the guys and short hair dos for the ladies. Screw what was fashionable before the apocalypse! This is SURVIVAL we are talking about!
Food & Supplies: Shop before you drop…DEAD! A hungry survivor is a weak survivor. Head to the nearest un-looted convenience store and grab as many non-perishables and bottles of water as you can. You don’t want to survive a zombie siege only to succumb to thirst and hunger.
Attire: Does camo make your butt look big? Heels – get rid of them! Burberry coat – useless. In this fashion scenario, you don’t want to look like a ‘great catch.’ What you need are a good pair of boots and dark, earthy-colored clothes. Form-fitted clothing is preferable for escaping the grasp of decaying hands.
Home Sweet Fortified Home: Build your own warm, cozy, post apocalyptic fortress. Since zombies aren’t tactful or dexterous, they can be easy to outwit. It may be possible to keep one out behind a door, but don’t plan on leaning against it when a dozen zombies are trying to break through – that’s just cinematic suicide, as dozens of movies have shown. Instead, think height. Set up shop on the second floor of your house or roof of a tall building – but make sure to barricade or destroy your stairs so they can’t follow.
On The Move: The ZTA – Zombie Transit Authority. Don't ignore the asset of having a vehicle as a means of a quick get away. But realize that cars do need gas and after the apocalypse, you will have to scout out locations where gas supplies are available. Carry a siphon hose in case you need to siphon gas out of other abandoned vehicles to fill up your ride. You don't want to carry a large gas can around while foraging for fuel. It will just weigh you down and you need to be light on your feet. If you have the chance to modify your vehicle to withstand the onslaught of a screaming horde of the undead, then do so. See the Transportation link on this site for ideas on how to fortify and pimp out your ride. If all else fails and you find yourself without a car, steal a mountain bike and hit the road. Fast, quiet, and no gas required.
Communications: Yes, without social media. No power, no computer, no Internet, and no phone networks. The ideal communication device is a CB radio or long range walkie-talkies. If all else fails, try a white board and a pair of binoculars.
Kill Creatively: Play "Guess Who" through a sniper scope. One might think that there are only so many ways to destroy the zombie brain. Wrong! Go into your shed, work room, or attic and find a sharp or blunt weapon. Use it to take your frustration out and split some zombie skulls! With a friend? Play a game. Try guess who, but from a distance with a large caliber rifle.
Play Time: Just because the world is ending doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. What is the point of being human if you can’t act it? Take a break from killing creatively and play a game of Monopoly. It will take your mind off the apocalypse …for awhile.
Fitness: Be a lean, mean zombie-killing machine. If you can’t beat ‘em, practice running from them. Otherwise, you will be remembered as that aerobically-challenged member of the group who sacrificed himself so the others could escape. When the apocalypse comes, cardio means everything. Weight training won’t make you look heroic as you lift a zombie over your head, only to be devoured by the throngs of frenzied zombies surrounding you.
Hygiene: You don’t want to smell worse than they do. So, who knows how long you’ll be stuck wherever you are? Prioritize the use of your water: set rations for drinking and cleaning yourself. A week or two without a shower won’t kill anyone. Also, long hair is a great way for a zombie to get a hold of you. Sounds like buzz cuts for the guys and short hair dos for the ladies. Screw what was fashionable before the apocalypse! This is SURVIVAL we are talking about!
Food & Supplies: Shop before you drop…DEAD! A hungry survivor is a weak survivor. Head to the nearest un-looted convenience store and grab as many non-perishables and bottles of water as you can. You don’t want to survive a zombie siege only to succumb to thirst and hunger.
Attire: Does camo make your butt look big? Heels – get rid of them! Burberry coat – useless. In this fashion scenario, you don’t want to look like a ‘great catch.’ What you need are a good pair of boots and dark, earthy-colored clothes. Form-fitted clothing is preferable for escaping the grasp of decaying hands.
Home Sweet Fortified Home: Build your own warm, cozy, post apocalyptic fortress. Since zombies aren’t tactful or dexterous, they can be easy to outwit. It may be possible to keep one out behind a door, but don’t plan on leaning against it when a dozen zombies are trying to break through – that’s just cinematic suicide, as dozens of movies have shown. Instead, think height. Set up shop on the second floor of your house or roof of a tall building – but make sure to barricade or destroy your stairs so they can’t follow.
On The Move: The ZTA – Zombie Transit Authority. Don't ignore the asset of having a vehicle as a means of a quick get away. But realize that cars do need gas and after the apocalypse, you will have to scout out locations where gas supplies are available. Carry a siphon hose in case you need to siphon gas out of other abandoned vehicles to fill up your ride. You don't want to carry a large gas can around while foraging for fuel. It will just weigh you down and you need to be light on your feet. If you have the chance to modify your vehicle to withstand the onslaught of a screaming horde of the undead, then do so. See the Transportation link on this site for ideas on how to fortify and pimp out your ride. If all else fails and you find yourself without a car, steal a mountain bike and hit the road. Fast, quiet, and no gas required.
Communications: Yes, without social media. No power, no computer, no Internet, and no phone networks. The ideal communication device is a CB radio or long range walkie-talkies. If all else fails, try a white board and a pair of binoculars.
